Blog de Osi

The demon gets the finger and a smile. August 18, 2009 For the past five days or so I have been dealing with a pinched nerve. Today has been the worst yet. The pain is horrendous and I am loosing feeling in my foot and leg. It kinda feels like I'm sticking my big toe in a light socket over and over again. So, reluctantly, I went to see the doctor. He confirmed my diagnosis and said I may have nerve damage. He won't be able to tell that until I get the inflammation down. I've been through this before. Now comes the moment I was waiting for, the prescription. Every addict knows an MD like this. It's standard procedure, item number one of the junkie cookbook. Find a guileless or idiotic doctor and milk them every chance you get. This guys doles out meds like he's Willie Wanka. And there I was standing in his office. The prescription is three fold. Two meds to reduce inflammation and swelling; I can't ever remember their names because they don't even register on the junkie meter; and the wonderful narcotic Vicoden for the pain. My response... "I am an addict and I am in recovery." He didn't seem to understand the relevance of this. He even tried to say Vicoden isn't addictive! Hmm... yeeeea and sex only feels good when you're in love. Whatever. Clearly he didn't get it. This guy might as well be standing on the corner whispering as you walk by. I could have faltered. It is okay to take pain meds when necessary. But in the heat of the moment, despite the beast inside me writhing his greedy little hands, I refused. The demon got the finger and a smile.

As for the possible nerve damage, that will take another visit to ascertain. First I have to get the inflammation down. I am not worried though. I don't believe in permanent anything. I don't even really believe in a physical world per say. It's all an illusion, a game of earth consciousness. I will learn what I need and the problem will disappear. Que Sera Sera.
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